I Am...

I know...Neglect

2011-02-23T14:03:00.000-08:00

Hey all! I'm sprry that I haven't posted since the day before forever, i've been super busy.I feel so bad about neglecting my wonderful followers that I decided to post today. However, I don't have alot of time because I am in class ( as usual). Therefore, I will update you on my life later. :)

Quick Stop...

2010-10-09T23:33:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone, I know it's late to be posting right now. I just can't sleep. I just thought I'd let you know that I will be posting some new pics as soon as my lovely sister Candice sends them to me. Other than that, goodnight! Be blessed!

Hello Again!

2010-10-07T09:51:00.000-07:00

Hi there! Sorry I haven't posted in like ages. I have alot going on at the moment. So, let me give you a quick update. School started for me on Septemeber 13th and it's going ok I guess. I'm doing horrible on my tests so I think that's going to have a BIG effect on my grades. Yikes! Deandre and I are still dating although we broke up at least 3 times and got back together LOL.!! I'm thinking about getting back into dancing again but I'm not sure yet because I have to change my diet and everything else. My beautiful niece Kyra is growing by the second. She always makes me feel better when I'm having a bad day. Last but not least, my great niece Khloi Sabrina Pitts was born yesterday. It was funny because my nephew was laughing the whole time his Baby's Mom was in labor. I can't wait to see her, Kym (his baby's mom was in labor for 26 hours!) Anyway, I'm in class at the moment and I'm doing work so I'll post up later. Bye!

I got it!!! mwahahahaha!! >:)

2010-08-19T12:27:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! I'm very excited to report that I fiiinally know how to put pictures on my blog! I'll be posting some of my old and new scraps. I have to go because I have a presentation that I have to get ready for in less than 30 minutes. So, this (above) is an idea that I plan to scrap. Have a nice day. See ya!

I'm Free!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! mwahahahahaha >:)

2010-07-29T09:17:00.000-07:00

Yes yes it's true.....I am no longer on punishment as of today. I can once again go outside to the park and have some chillax time. My BF and I can plan something before he leaves and goes back to Georgia. I just really hate that he's leaving. It feels like he's never gonna come back. I mean I want him to finish school, I just don't want him to meet another female while I'm out here patiently waiting on him. I guess it's that teenager-insecure-paranoid syndrome. That's not all that's bothering me, after he graduates, he'll be going to the Navy. So, I'll have time to be with him, but after a while he'll be in the middle of the ocean and stuff. We have to "break up" for a while when he leaves to fly back to GA but we're gonna get back together. I just hope that my teenage-insecure-paranoid syndrome isn't telling me right. We'll jut have to see. In the mean time, I will be going to find something to eat in the food pantry at my job because I didn't eat before I left this morning. See Ya! Be Blessed!

Mmmm.....Spaghetti

2010-07-22T12:59:00.000-07:00

Hi everybody! I apologize for just taking off like that, I had to go on my lunch break. I was hungry. I brought some of the spaghetti that my mom cooked yesterday to work with me so I wouldn't have to worry about what I was going to eat. Anyway, to get back to my update, because there's alot that's been going on and I've been planning alot. So, before I finish telling you my plans for when I graduate high school, I thought I would give you an update on some of my surrounding people. Well, I remember telling you all about my R.O.P group (or at least I do, but i don't want to do it again because I'm too lazy LoL). Anyway, all of them are important to me, however, one of the students that I connected with the most, Rex, is going away for college. Now, before you say anything, I'm very proud of him and I hope all is well with him. I'm just not ready for him to leave. He's my walking diary, my brother....just about my everything. He never steers me wrong, I always check on him, sometimes more than I should LoL but I mean it out of love. It's jut a little hard for me to deal with the fact that he will be all the way in Florida and I'll be stuck out here in Cali wondering if he's ok. It's like I know he'll be ok, but I don't know he'll be ok if that makes sense to you all. He's a big motivation in my life. Alot of people don't understand, it's complicated. I'm going to scrapbook a layout for him before he leaves, just to say thank you for all that he has said to me, even for introducing me to the 5% way of life. Now, back to my plans for high school, my mom doesn't know but I'm planning on getting a job during the school year, putting it in a bank account and then moving out my senior year. I'll have roomates to help with the rent, ESPECIALLY while I'm in college. But, I have to go, I'm going to try and draw the design for the layout for Rex while I'm not doing n.e thing. Talk to you soon!! (BTW I may start posting every blog this size from now on..)

I'm Back.....Hopefully... -___-

2010-07-22T11:40:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! I hope your week is goin great. I know mine is going by rather slow. I have to work and then as soon as I get home from work I have to leave for Vacation Bible School to teach the little kids class. I'm on restriction until next Thursday...UGH!!!! There's a life-long story to tell behind that. Basically, no computer (the only reason I'm posting now is because I'm at work teehee), no phone, no LEAVING MY HOUSE UNLESS IM TOLD TO!!!! YIKES!!!! However, that's not the worst part. The worst part of this entire situation is that I will not get to see my lovely boyfriend Deander Maurice Brown. I call him Maurice because I feel like it suits his personality better. He shortens my first middle name, Jasmine, and calls me Jazzy for short. I know I haven't posted since maybe the day before forever, but I know you all remember one of the best people that ever happened to me....Trayvell. I thought he was the best thing EVER!!!! My little neice and nephew loved him, my mom loved him, my family didn't try and hurt him like they would normally try and hurt someone else I brought into my house. It's funny because on Monday, I went to Vacation Bible School and asked my nephew who his favorite people were and the first person he said was Trayvell. That was a real shocker!! Any way, Maurice is much sweeter, caring, honest, and loving thatn Trayvell. I never thought I'd hear myself say something like that. He treats me like a queen. If he could literally put me on top of the world he would. The only issue is that he'll be flying back to Savanna, Georgia on August 7th. We'll still be dating and whatnot, he'll be visiting every now and then. He's 18 so after he graduates we're working out a situation to where he can move out here. I really liek him...he's my first true (hint on the word true because Tyus does not count >:o ) boyfriend since Trayvell and I broke up on April 30th. I haven't even told my mom this, but I want to move out after I graduate. Maybe even the middle of my senior year or my junior year. I don't want to still be living with my parents after I graduate. I'm working on getting a job during the school year my sophmore year, so that I can save up the money. I'll have someone else living with me so that rent will be easy. I'll finish updating you when I come from lunch. Bye!

WOW

2010-07-20T14:35:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! I apologize for taking 10 billion years to post again. I've been really busy. I got a new job at UCLA woohooo!! LoL. I've been back and forth to church taking care of the kids. On my spare time I'm at my sister Candice's house looking at my adorable niece. I love her so much, but she can be a handful. She knows when she's hungry and wont stop screaming until she's fed. I'm on restriction now, but as soon as I can go outside, I'll be over her house. I'm also learning how to put pics on my blog, so I'll be giving you alot of stuff to look at ;). My supervisor is coming, so I have to go. Catch ya soon!

Sorry Everyone!

2010-06-14T17:15:00.001-07:00

Hey all! I truly apologize for the not blogging since the day before forever LoL. I've just been reeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaallllyyyy busy. It's almost the end of the school year and I have ALOT of things to do. I have a dance show coming up and finals coming up. I have a Summer Job coming up and everything else. SO, I'll give you a very quick update. We won our talent show, 1st place for the step and 2nd place for our tahitian dance. So, the step went to the culminiation event however I didn't go. This is because the weekend of the culmination event (May 20- May 23) I was in the Bay. I went to a Bay Area retreat with my R.O.P (Rites Of Passage) group. So, the Bay Retreat was really fun! However, the night of my Talent show Trayvell and I broke up. That was the hardest thing for me, and in a way it still is. But, my family is here and I have 2 go. So TTYL

Such A Drag....

2010-05-14T12:48:00.001-07:00

At least everything feels that way. I'm tryingto take everything one day at a time, but he won't leave mymind. I miss Trayvell so much it's indescribable. I've tried calling him but his cell phone is dead. I've tried talking to someone else but that's not looking very good right now. Every time I pick up my binder I see his face. Whenever I open my music notebook I see his name. Whenever I open my math notebook I see our names together. On facebook, it still says we're in a relaitonship together. It's not just because I forgot how to change my relationship status, but even if I remembered how to I wouldn't want to because I miss him like crazy. I hope we get back together. My mood, my attitude, my everything has gone down since we broke up two weeks ago. I try and bring my self up to happiness, but there isn't anything that I can do where his name or face doesn't pop up. Everything that I do, I have some typeof memory with him. So, I apologize for not posting lately but...gotta go!

(Sigh) Not Feeling Tha Best..

2010-05-12T12:20:00.000-07:00

As you all can see I do have a reason for my non-posting. I've been at school and in meetings and at practices for the longest. So, the "Uni's Got Talent" (If I told you about that) was great. Our step won 1st place for group dance and our Tahitian dance won 2nd place. So, that was the greatest time ofthat day. However, I have the worst news ever that has scarred me for life. Trayvell and I broke up on our 3 month anniversary. I don't wish to get into details because it's too much to even think about right now because honestly it's been affecting my mood for the longest. I hope we get back together though because I really miss him. His phone is dead so I can't call him because I never know when it's dead and when it's not dead. I try and call his brother Tony but he's always busy and I don't want to be a bother. So, as I meantioned before I really hope we get back together because if we don't then I'm going to have to do what I don't want to....move on. I think this will be the hardest thing I'll have to do throughout my life. Well, I'm officially sad so I'll post back when I can. See Ya!

Serious Update!

2010-04-23T13:50:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone. I apologize for not posting in over a month. LoL I know I'm making it seem as if it's only like 2 days or something but I've been really busy. So, to give you a quick update on my life. Trayvell and I are still going out. Wooohooooo!!!! It will be 3 months on April 30th of 2010. Also, I've been scrapbooking alooooooooooottttttttttt. LoL I will be posting some of my work pretty soon I just have to come up with a good method. My computer doesn't like me so I have to go downstairs to my sister's houseand use her computer LoL. But anyway, that's all for now because I'm still at school sooooooooo................SEE YA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ooops! I Almost Forgot!

2010-03-22T12:47:00.000-07:00

Hey, everyone! I forgot to mention one thing. I have a twitter now so anyone who wants to followme just let me know and I'll give you my URL. I will post it on my ScrapInStyle profile. So, as I said befor, if you wish to follow me I will give you me URL, just comment on this post...not one of my other posts LoL....this post..and I will reply and give you my URL. Well, I have to go, class is almost over and I need to shut down. Bye!

Ok, Take a Look!!

2010-03-22T11:57:00.000-07:00

Ok everyone, this is it! I've finally posted my new poem "I'm Me" below. it took some work to finish, but I'm done now. It expresses how I feel about the area that I come from and how I wouldn't change anything in the world if I could. So, go take a look!

"I'm Me"

2010-03-22T11:45:00.000-07:00

I'm me...and I always will be.

Same smile, same eyes, same

gap between my teeth.

I'm still the girl who

grew up in the hood.

I'm still the girl, who thought she neve could,

do all the things that everyone said.

Nor, did I believe I could be so far ahead.

Yup, that's me..the young one who's mother was on drugs.

Forever will I be the youngster who went, to different boys

and girls....looking for love.

Lil Mama who had to go and get her mom out the crack-house?

Yea that's me.

Lil Mama who was forever looking for a way out?

Yea that's me.

That girl who went from Compton to Westwood?

The one who still has memories of the hood...

Memories of going to get a book & almost gettin' shot,

Memories of a boy gettin' killed on my block,

Memories of seeing my brothers get arrested,

Memories of the cops when my house got raided.

Knowing that, what doesn't kill you will only

make you stronger,

Trusting in God, I know I'll have a better tomorrow,

Thinking of where I am, where I came from,

and where I'll be,

I know that I'm me...& I always will be....and there's no

other person that I'd rather be.

Like He Always Says...It Is What It Is :-/

2010-03-22T11:31:00.000-07:00

Hey all! I hope you all are havein a great day! Mine is going ok. Yesterday, well actually all weekend, I didn't get to see Trayvell. It made me realize how close to him I've gotten. I'm so used to being with him every weekend that my weekends feel unusual when I'm without him. It's like...like...I'm not sure what it's like but it just feels weird being without him! LoL. Anyway, I know you all remember my last post when I first heard about the situation with "Big Mac". I was thinking about how I'm slowly but surely getting over him and I'm happy to be with Trayvell. What I didn't mention is how confused I was about how I was supposed to feel about the situation. Was I supposed to be angry? Was I supposed to forget about it? Anyway, no matter how I was supposed to feel, I thought it was inconsiderate. So, I called him and we spoke abotu it on a homie-type level. He said there's nothing going on, but he had a major attitude in his voice and pissed me off. I let it go though. So, I'm like forget it. I'm happy with Trayvell. I love him abd I can't see myself with a person who not only can't make up his mind when he has something good, but he obviously doesn't even care about how I feel about the stupid things that he does (I posted about this a little while ago I think). So, from now on you'll only be hearing about Trayvell, scrapbooking and my poetry. Maybe some singing as well LoL. Be Blessed everyone!

This Just Keeps Getting Better!

2010-03-18T11:49:00.003-07:00

That's exactly what I said when I get my bit of information today. As a matter of fact, it's quite a coincidence that the day after I blog about how I'm slowly but surely getting over "Big Mac" I recieve some quite disturbing news. So, let me tell you the story from the beginning. My best friend Daisy and I are walking to our 1st period class. Now, Daisy, Josh, and I are best friends. However, Josh used to go out with my friend Shallae(I forgot how to spell her name). They only went out for 2 days, but Josh wasn't feeling the way she went out with him and 2 days later says she's not ready for a relationship. So, while walking to 1st period Daisy tells me that "Big Mac" and Shallae may be going out. You see, Daisy has softball practice every day and told me that she sees them all the time all up against the gate and what-not. I'm not trying to start any trouble, I just think that after I told "Big Mac" how I feel about him and everything I've been going through, it's a little inconsiderate for him to be talking to my associate in that way. I mean, we're not the best of friends, but still we talk. I almost wanted to cry when she told me this. I know that you all are thinking, "Why can't you jsut get over this guy?!?!?!?" Well, as I've explained before, I'm getting over him it's just taking some time. At least I'm honest enough to say that I still have feelings for him. Here's the tricky question(directed towards my sister http://theonedivinehand.blogspot.com/) . Should I talk to him about it? If I do, what do I say? Well, like I said before, this jut keeps getting better! I don't want to leave you all on a bad note. So, I'm almost done with my new poem called "I'm Me" so continue to be on the lookout for that. Be Blessed!

Hmmm...How Can I Promote My Poetry and Scrapbooking.

2010-03-17T11:33:00.000-07:00

That's something that I've been thinking about. I know I'm still in school, but poetry and scrapbooking are my loves. I'm all about my education, and making it to the place that alotof people probably thought and still think I won't make it to. However, my poetry takes me to place that I feel like my words can never end. It makes me feel like my words are always the right words. I want people to understand me, but I never seem to have the right words to get people to understand me and understand my ways. My scrapbooking just takes me away to my artistic side. I love being creative and using my imagination, especiall when people don't make fun of what I'm doin. Now, I'm thinking about putting something on the internet and basically self-promote myself. I'm not sure yet, but it's going to come together. God is going to take care of me and His plans will unroll jut the way He wants them to. So, that's all for now. I'm going to be posting a new poem on there pretty soon so keep a lookout for that. Be blessed!

Everything is Such a Drag!!!! :(

2010-03-15T12:07:00.000-07:00

That's exactly what it feels like. The minute I get home from school, I eat, get on the phone and go to sleep. The only reason I'm posting right now, to be honest, is because I'm in my computer class and I'm bored out of my mind. However, I'll give you a little update on me. So, to aswer you question Candice, the whole James thing isn't completely thrown out the window. I'm slowly but surely moving on, it's just a little hard for me. Now, to everyone else I'm loving my relationship with Trayvell. Saturday we went to the library and I finally got a library card for our local library. LoL. I'm soooooo happy. After leaving the library, we ate lunch at my house and spent the day together at the picnic tables in my complex. He left around 7 or 7:30. Sunday, he came to church with me as he does every Sunday. He gave me his football jersey from last year, which I love very much. We talked after church with an associate of mine named Bobby who goes to a school that I was going to attend but I moved. However, we had fun arguing about how he thinks he can beat my school in basketball and football. But, I had to tell him that our basketball team is BEAST!!!!!!! We will murder them in basketball. Our football team isn't the best, but we'll kill them. LoL. Anyway to get back on topic, after church we went to the library and I picked up some books and went to the park after dropping them off at my house. We spet hours at the park laying in the grass talking about family issues and the way we grew up. Our history is somewhat similar. Anyway, he left at 4:30 yesterday and I went home and went to sleep. So, basically that's my weekend routine. Spend time with Trayvell. My weekly routine is still the same, go to school, go to church, and go home. Well, whenever I finish my projects, I will post them on my ScrapInStyle album. See you all next time. Be blessed!

Hello Progress!

2010-03-03T11:47:00.000-08:00

Hey everybody!! I hope you all are enjoying your March so far. I just wanted to give everyone an update on how I'm doing. As you can probably tell, I haven't really had the time to post alot lately. I've been bushed with school. So, Trayvell and I are still together as I mentioned in my last blog LoL. I think I'm doing pretty well in all my classes probably except P.E because I don't dress out all the time. Anyway, I'm slowly but surely moving on from my feelins for "Big Mac". It's taking work but, I'm getting there. My best friend keept telling me "Just move on!". He doesn't understand that my feelings aren't liek a light switch. I can't just turn them off whenever they come on. He doesn't completely understand, but he's still there for me. Trayvell knew a long time ago about how I feel about "Big Mac" and he knows it's taking me a while. However, he also knows that I wouldn't want to be with anybody else either. I'm really happy with him, he makes me smile all the time. So, I don't have anything to worry about when it comes to getting hopeful about "Big Mac". He wanted me to just give up so I'm ding that. It's taking longer than it should, but I'm doing it. So, I say to myself and all of my readers "Goodbye stress and Hello Progress!"

Coming Up!

2010-03-03T11:29:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure if you all checked my upload on http://www.scrapinstyletv.com/profile.php but it was a Valentine's Day Card that I made for my boyfriend Trayvell. (Yes we're still together LoL!) However, coming to you soon (in my announcer voice LoL) I will upload some images from my mini scrapbook that I made when I went to camp this past weekend. So, coming on a computer near you will be the mini-camp crags-scrapbook lol by yours truly Chrissy!! LoL. So, that's it for this one I'll inform you on more when I post my next one...sooner that you probably think!

LoL Slap Myself Moment...

2010-02-23T11:27:00.000-08:00

LoL ok I just had to share this! My sister posted on her blog one day that she finally figured out what D.I.Y means. After reading her blog I figured otu what it meant. So, I'm on this wonderful site called "a beautiful mess" and ther are soemreally interesting things on there. I saw D.I.Y and was like "What is that?" I thought abotu it and said to myself "Do It Yourself"! Duuhhhhh! Lol it was a true "slap myself moment". I just had to share that with you guys! Oh yea I almost forgot....pretty soon I'll be posting my projects up on my blog so everyone will be able to look at it and give me their opinions. LoL after that moment I can't believe myself. See you later!

Do You Like??

2010-02-22T12:51:00.000-08:00

As you all can see I've changed my template. I've decided that it's time for a change. There's only 3 minutes left until I go to lunch and I'm bored. So, I thought about how my background looks like my sister Candice's LoL. So, I took a look at all the different templates already set and this one really caught my eye. It makes me think of how bad I want to walk the streets of Hollywood one day. Well, I have to go. I'm Hungry!! Bye!

New Beginning in Scrapbooking

2010-02-22T11:38:00.000-08:00

I'm pretty sure that you all can guess why I'm so happy today. I subscribed to the site http://www.scrapinstyletv.com/ and they have a way for me to show the things that I do to everyone on the site. I can easily upload them from my computer. I don't have a camera therefore I have to take another route. It may seem a little complicated so keep up lol. When I first finish up a project I take a pictue of it with my step-dad's phone. Then, I send the picture(s) to my email address and download it to my computer. After that, I log on to my account and upload them to my portfolio. I wish I could show you all my projects, I can't though because I haven't gotten my scanner and stuff fixed. So, it's one step at a time. If you want to see it however, you can easily just go to the site. and look me up. My name is TheUniquelyChosen so feel free to look me up. I have to go I'm in class reflecting on my article. See you in a little bit! LoL

I'm Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaackk!!

2010-02-17T11:40:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone! As you can tell...I'm back to the normal me. I'm going to try and get back to posting as much as possible keeping everyone updated on my life and the events that are hapening with me. I hope evryone had a great Valentine's Day with your loved ones. zI'm not really a big fan of Valentin's day. However, it's not fair to spoil everyone else's fun and enjoyment of Valentine's Day. For those of you who don't know me personally I have a new, wonderful boyfriend named Trayvell. He means more than the world on a silver paltter to me. This year, Trayvell came to church, and after church we spent the whole day together. He had sooooooooooooooooo much fun. I enjoyed myself too actually. Although my thoughts and life are kind of out of control with "Big Mac", I can't see myself breaking up with Trayvell for anything in the world. No matter what the situation is, or the problem is, I'm staying with Trayvell. I do still love "Big Mac", however he took too long to give me an answer. I'm not going to waste my time trying to get his attention and he can't even see what's right in front of him 5 days a week! Until he makes up his mind, my heart is set. He always has a placein my heart, it's just that his place is behind Trayvell's right now. Trayvell is thebest thing that has happened to me since my last 2 boyfriends. We work together to keep up on our work, and we make each other happy on a daily basis. He can make me smile when I think that I'm far away from showing any type of happy emotion. Trayvell, thank you for bringing my spirits up and taking me out of my confused and depressed state of mind. It's because of you, that I'm back to the happy, cherful, loving, Chrissy that I was before. So everyone I'm back to the old me, posting almost everyday. Have a blessed day everyone!

Reality..

2010-01-30T11:33:00.001-08:00

The poem, below is a poem I wrote for "Big Mac". I was sitting in my 4th period class (really bored! LoL). I was thinking about how he's taking so long to give me a simple answer. It's not fair that I should have to go through all of this when I have given many good reasons as to why he should say yes to me. I know I said that I am willing to wait, but I'm not willing to suffer. I love him, but I won't continue to get teased. So, hopefully this poem is a little dose of reality. Big Mac, I love you but this isn't right.

Yes or No....Es tan Simple

2010-01-30T11:21:00.000-08:00

The face..the smile

The lips...the eyes

It's all confusion

iLovee you..don't you understand?

te amo...entiendes?

I don't know how to say it any other way

Yes or no..it's that simple,

Si or No...es tan simple.

I know....everybody knows that I'll only love you unconditionally

I want to be with you.

When the sun beams on your face,

it's pure beauty.

Es Bella pura.

I'm being real....straight up

Estoy diciendo la verda...lo juro

I love everything about you.

Your strength...your aggression

Your laugh..your kindness...

Tu fuerza...tu agrecion

Tu riza...tu dulcura

If you open yor eyes,

I'll be sitting here with love in my heart,

passion in my eyes.

Se real...No jueges!

ya escoje

Be real...stop playing!

choose already!

It's not that hard

No es tan difficil.

Yes or no...it's that simple.

Si or No...es tan simple

Just yes or no

solo si or no

The face...the smile

the lips...the eyes

La cara...la risa

los labios...los ojos

Por favor pare de confundime

Please stop confusing me.

iLovee you...yes or no..

it's that simple.

te amo...si or no...es tan simple

Weird.....

2010-01-28T21:31:00.000-08:00

It's closer and closer to Saturday. I'm wondering if "Big Mac" will follow through on our next meeting. I miss the days of playing in his arms and just joking around like there's no tomorrow. Well, until he gets late to a game and gets pretty upset. He knows he likes spending time with me though lol. It's just that...lately it hasn't seemed the same. It seems that he's getting more distant with me. I don't know why, but I don't like the feeling of it though. It's like he's becoming more distant and it kind of feels like we'll never be together or likee things will never be the same at least. I have to talk to him A.S.A.P about this situation because it's truly bothering me. It makes it even harder because if someone away from school asks me if I'm talking to someone I'm not sure what to say. I love him, but I somewhat don't think this is fair. So, I'm going to call him tonight and get an answer to all this. It's either a yes, we go out after almost 2 months of getting to know each other and realizing that I would make a great girlfriend. Or no, we're not gonna date because of "basketball" and the stupid situaiton that even though I promised him that things will be completely different in a good way. That's what I leave you with thonight everyone! I'll update you as soon as I can. Goodnight and be Blessed!

MAGNET.....THIS IS KILLING ME!!!

2010-01-27T19:45:00.000-08:00

It never fails. Everyday, I pass up "Big Mac" amd his body is like a mgnet. I can't help but look his way. I want to smile so bad, but I don't want any more questions about us rising up. All during lunch I couldn't help but look his way and just imagine being in his arms. I still feel safe around him, and I always will. He is a human magnet!!! LoL. Seeing that girl on him like she was his shadow today kind of made me jealous because I know how I feel about him and I end up comparing myself with her and his other ex girlfriends. It's just....like.......ugh...it's just unexplainable. All I know is......I love him(especially his lips)...I want to be with him....there's nothing else more than that. I'm going to work hard to get him.

I Think.....

2010-01-26T19:11:00.001-08:00

Hey everyone! I know I haven't posted in a while. I've been thinking about Big Mac alot more lately. I want things back the way yhey were. Better yet I want ot take it tothe next level because I know that I can treat him so good. I'm tired of people coming to me telling me "He know ya'll should've went out!" and "No Chrissy! Ya'll need to start back talking." I can't wait to see him again, I'm going to talk to him in person about it. Today, I was sitting down in the tutoring room (all the basketball players have to go on Tuesdays) and i couldn't help but to smile. It's like I think about him all the time, and when I catch my self thinking about him I can always think "Why do I think about him so much?" and I wonder if he's thinking about me. We're gonna talk about it in person sooner or later. He's gonna make himself miss out on a good opportunity. Well, I'm about to eat so I'll talk to all of you later! Be Blessed!

I'm Not Giving Up!

2010-01-24T21:50:00.000-08:00

Hello eveyone! I don't really have much to say tonight. However, I can say that whenever I get through talking to "Big Mac" I always feel the greatest. He is soooooooo silly. I don't know what I am going to do with this boy. He knows where his heart is really at (well right after bwasketball). He and I both know that passing up an opportunity like this (me) won't work out too well. I'm willing to start over just because I love him. He'll see sooner or later. We have a meeting in the park coming up soon, I hope we can talk and get things back to how they were. I miss him all the time. (Yes "Big Mac" this is true!!! No Lie!!) I think about him more than I think about food. That's alot!!! LoL. We can do so well together. I can keep his spirit up even after he moves to San Diego. Hahahaha he's so silly he told me I should take all the blogs i wrote about him, and make a book. LoL. Only he would say something like that. I often ask myself why I spend so much time waiting for him. Then I realize, that if I gave up and if he stopped talking to me I would be in pieces. If he stopped talking to me my life would come to an end. If he stopped talking to me...the tears may never end. I love him beyond a reason, so hopefull at our meeting, I can be in his arms reminicing about us being together. I can't help but smile thinking of you boy..(Yes "Big Mac" I'm talkin to you). Don't be foolish and pass me by like a hitch hiker on the road. LoL I'm not giving up.

Cheesecake....Now What???

2010-01-23T21:49:00.000-08:00

I'm so happy that "Big Mac" and I are talking again. I never really thought about how much I care for him until the night we solved our differences. I have a hard time telling him how I feel sometimes, but I'm getting better at it. I love him so much. As a matter of fact, I find it hard not to smile when I hear his name. I was in my 4th period class on Friday, I had an iPod in my ear because I focus with music rally well. I was listening to "Love Like This" and he was going through my mind all day. I think about the night we had the conversation about the rollercoasters, and now I'm wondering what he's thinking about that rollercoaster now. I still want him the way I wanted him before. I've been thinking of a new analogy now that I think about it. There's this cheesecake (I love cheesecake by the way! LoL) on this beautiful display that really catches my eye. It has everything that I want and need to satisfy my tastebuds for a lifetime. However, the baker is telling me that it's not healthy and that I should only look at it. Also, that he doesn't sell these type of cheesecakes this time of year anyway. Even after people have tried to make it look like the most disgusting and say things that at one time made the baker want to kick me out of the bakery forever, I don't care. The bakery is telling me that we can start over, so I'm happy with that. I know that I can treat this cheesecake with delicacy and love it like it never has been loved before. I'll make sure no harm is done to the cheesecake and show the baker that he can trust me. So, I'm starting over working my way to that cheesecake. Now what???

iLovee youu

2010-01-19T19:49:00.000-08:00

I know the last time I posted, it wasn't the best news. However, I feel much better than I did before. "Big Mac" and I have worked out our differences and we're cool now. We explained to each other the situation from last Friday and now we get alog again! I can never stay mad at him for any reason at all. I've always wondered why that was. I've never liked a boy so much that I think about him every day. It recently hit me when I was down at my Reszko familiy's house, and we were talking about the movie "Dan in Real Life". His 14 year old daughter had a boyfriend that she loved and her dad didn't wantto believe her because she's only known him for a short amount of time (3 weeks). At one point in the movie her boyfriend goes a long distance to see her and he tell her dad that love is not a feeling it's an ability. A lady tells him that she is one talented young girl. In a way I am both Dan, the father, and his daugter. I am Dan because I didn't want to believe that I love "Big Mac" and I tried to convince myself that it just wasn't possible. I wouldn't listen to my true feelings until Friday when I imagined if he were to stop talking to me for the rest of my life. I would think about him more than I do now, which is every single day. I'm the daughter because we've onlybeen talking for almost 2 months, but I know what I feel. I know what I'm able to do. I love him. So, when he told me that we have to start over I was kind of upset because that's alot of work. However, I don't mind though because this ability is becoming a talent and pretty soon it'll be a habbit. So Big Mac to you I say, because I know you're reading this...I don't have a problem with having a fresh start.

iLovee Youu

FURIOUS!!!!!

2010-01-16T11:35:00.000-08:00

Well, these past few days haven't been my days at all. My phone got stolen, and I've been having bad news after bad news reported to me. Yesterday, went horrible with "Big Mac". He's furious with me over something i don't completely understand. He told my best friend that he woudl rather kill himself than hurt me. Well, he hurt me really badly when he blew me off yesterday. He hurt me even worse when I found out that the situation he was mad over could've been talked about and we could've resolved it. I think it's a popularity issue because he's a basketball player, that's why has his head all up his you-know-what. I'm just completely furious right now because..man it's too complicated to explain. all I know is, it shouldn't have ended up like this. Hopefully we can talk about it. I'm just so angry right now, I don't know when I'm going to post again. So, if you don't see any posts from me in a while you have no reason to worry I'll be ok. I just haven't felt this way about a guy in my whole life and it ended up horrible. I'm done.......

Optimistic...Depressed...What is This Feeling?

2010-01-13T19:23:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is Friday as I'm sure you all know. I've been trying to catch up with "Big Mac" so we can talk because I don't see why we should wait for him to answer me tomorrow. But, he's busy so I have to wait untill tomorrow. My phone got stolen yesterday so I can't text message him. I also can't text him because he lost his phone. Therefore I absolutely have no choice but to wait until tomorrow evem though the wait is unbearable. My past few days haven't really been my best. All, I can say about this situation is that, I feel like it's not completely fair that I completely trust him and he's scared about basketball season. That makes me feel like he can't trust me because he thinks I'm goingto throw him off track of his basketball game. He told my best friend that he can't put his girlfriend before basketball. I don't want him to do that anyway because I want him to stay focused and be happy. I believe that I can make him happy but he has to give me a try. If he says no, then it's his loss not mine. I really really like him though. I'll still support him and write him and all that good stuff when he goes to San Diego. I just can't dewscribe this feeling that I'm feeling right now.

Eeeeeeeeeeepppp!!!!!

2010-01-12T19:49:00.000-08:00

Well, today I got my gift from "Big Mac". He bought me a pair of pajama pant &'d what looks like some boxers. LoL. It was so sweet because the point was, since I like to take his clothes (LoL) he got me something exactly like what he sleeps in. I looveee them to! they are so comfortable. I want to ask him if he has made up his mind yet, but I'm not sure how to approach him. When I was talking to him today, I couldn't help but stare at his beautiful smile and eyes. He has alot of potential to become a marine, and I'm glad he wants to do something like that. I'm willing ot support him and he knows that. He knows how I feel about him and everything. The only question left is "What is he gonna do?". I guess I'll find out when Friday comes. You already know how I'm feeling about waiting for that day. I'm making the loud, squeaky sound that every teenage girl makes. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeepppppp!!!!

All I Can Do Is Wait....

2010-01-11T21:03:00.000-08:00

Today was my first day back to school since Witer Break. It was fun seeing all my friends after three weeks. I don't even have to mention that I was happy to see "Big Mac" again. LoL. I was sooooooo excited to see his musculine face again. LoL I'm not about to get into that. What I want to tell you all about is how all day today I kept thinking about him in my classes every time I wasn't doing anything. Whenever I got finished my work my brain automatically shifted to "Big Mac" mode. LoL. What I thought about even more, especially at lunch, was his big decision. I don't want him to do anything jusut to be nice to me, or to think he's keeping from hurting my feelings. I don't want to rush him into it either. However, the patience is KILLING ME!!!!!!! LoL. I just wish we could sit down for a while and he can put my heart at ease like he normally does. By his words and strength, or like when I would lay on his back and he would put his arm around me. Even like when he would say things I just can't help but to laugh at. If I could have him ease my heart until Friday I would be happy. So, I'm impatiently waiting for Friday to come. All I can do is wait...

Lovely Sis Renee!

2010-01-11T20:56:00.001-08:00

The last post i did was for my best friend Renee. She's like my sister man. As a matter of fact I forgot to tell you that Renee is "Big Mac's" little sister. Sometimes she's my source. LoL Anything I need to know about "Big Mac" she's willing to help if she can or if I need help with anything else. Even if i just need someone to talk to just to talk to because I'm bored, she's always lending an ear. I do the same for her because we're close like that. So, the poem I wrote is for you sis! I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

My Renee

2010-01-11T20:41:00.000-08:00

She's not like you or me.

She's the prettiest and only of her kind.

She has feelings that are hard to ignore because

she's always considering yours.

Sometimes, she's all I have to depend on.

Her brown eyes are warmth to me,

like that of the sun.

Her words soak into your soul like lotion on a baby's skin,

thisa is because she always speaks the truth

We are alike in many ways, but her laugh seperates her from anybody,

even in a million man march.

She's my sister, she's my best friend.

She's not yours.......but my Renee

Wee Hours of the Morning..

2010-01-09T01:09:00.001-08:00

Sadly, it's 1:09 in the morning and I can't sleep. What's even more disturbing to me is that, "Big Mac" is the only thing in my mind. I'm not really scared he'll say no about my "proposal" as he like sto put it. I feel like, if he decides to say no then it's his loss. I do really really really really really really really really really (a thousand times really) like "Big Mac". However, I can't control his feelings. I have much love for him and he'll always be my friend. I really want to be with him, but it's his decision. I just want him to be comfortable around me if he decides to say no. This is because I know that He and I both know that he'll be greatly missing out if he decides to say no. Plus, it'll probably be because of a reason that makes no type of sense. I don't know. Maybe, I'm just a little peranoid due to lack of sleep. So, I'm calling it a night everyone! Goodnight and Be Blessed! :)

Benefits....Hmmmm

2010-01-08T23:37:00.000-08:00

Good evening everyone! As always, before I posted this blog, I had a conversation with "Big Mac". It's somewhat a tradition. LoL. Anyway, tonight's topic was "Feelings". He told me something tonight that made me feel very good about the way I feel about him. I've never gone this coo-bananas over a guy before. However, now I feel like it's worth it. To sum up what he said, my persistence has an unusual affect on him. He said he feels awkward in a good way because he no longer takes me as a freshman with a little kid crush on him. He takes me seriously and understands that, in the words of Dr. Seuss, I say what I mean and I mean what I say. He considers everything I tell him and he knows that I'm not about little kid games. it even got so serious that, I gave him a deadline to decide if we're goingto take this to another level. He has until next Friday. I just hope by then he'll realize how I'm actually a benefit and not a regret. He even said himself that I'm beyond my years. I'm willing to support him as a basketball player, and as a Marine. I'm willing to hold him down when he goes to San Diego. He and I both know that ther earen't many Freshmen at Uni (University High) that are like that. Come to think of it, ther aren't many Freshmen that exist like that. LoL. The patience for his evaluating is actually killing me so I had to come up with something. As I've said many times before, I never work hard for no reason. Hopefully he understands that come next Friday. So, the question to myself is: Will any benefit come from all this that I've gone through? Hmmmmmmm :-/ I'll continue to post so keep on reading these blogs! Especially looks for next Friday's because that's the big decision! Until next time, God Bless and Goodnight!

Warm or Cold?

2010-01-08T13:26:00.000-08:00

Every time I talk to Big Mac it's a new feeling. The conversation is always new. Last night we talked about himm saying yes or not to the photoshoot. However, he made me tell him what his surprise is. So, we made a deal that if I let him see the scrapbook page then he'll do the photoshoot. The only conditions are 1: no one else will see it not even his sister (who is like family to me). 2: We will never speak of it ever again. 3: He has to see the page which I was going ot do that anyway. The only thing bothering me is, somewhere near the end of our conversation we talked about how we would act when school let back in this coming Monday. I don't know if I told all my followers this before, but he doesn't really date during basketball season. I'm working to change that, and everyone knows that i don't work for no reason. We decided that a simple Hi and Bye woulddo each other and we wouldn't completely ignore each other. He also said that he would continue with "the plan". He's going to evaluate the possibility of us actually getting together. Honestly, it kind of threw me off like every thing that he says does. LoL. It made me think I was somewhat getting closer to what I really want. Then, it made me think that if he has to evaluate that I might not have a chance anyway. I really like this guy because he's nothing like anyone I've ever talked to before. I feel so safe around him and he's always honest. Come to think of it. I don't recall ever thinking about a guy this much either. Now, I have two jobs to do. 1: convince him that this "rollercoaster" is right. LoL 2: Figure out if I'm getting warmer or colder. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm :-/

Surprise!

2010-01-07T12:27:00.000-08:00

Goodmorning everyone! I hope everyone had a well rested night. I know that not too long ago I posted about my birthday. I never mentioned that my sister Candice got me a great present formy birthday. She's going to give me a photo shoot in my favorite park. I chose that location because that's where I'm mostly at peace and that's where I spend alot of my time. However, I had an idea. You see, "Big Mac" got me a gift for my birthday and he won't tell me exactly what it is. I know what it is but the way he describes it, I don't know exactly what it is. He says I'm going to get a "double" gift. So, I figured that I should surprise him with something that he didn't even know that I do. I'm going to make him a page in my scrapbooking album. It'll show him my creative side and what I think of him. I chose this in partticular because I sometimes havea hard time finding the right words to say to him. Alot of people really don't know that I love things like scrapbooking. It's very peaceful and it speaks for itself I don't have to say anything. So, I asked him to come to my photoshoot and take some pictures with me or by himself. I'll use the pictures to adfd to his page and let him see it. I just hope he likes it. It's an unusual surprise, but it's the best idea I've had so far.

Rollercoasters

2010-01-07T01:45:00.000-08:00

Normally, I can't stand rollercoasters. I'm afraid of heights and I get motion sickness. However, "Big Mac" and I had a rather interesting conversationtonight. We were using analogies to basically explain how we feel about each other. His analogy was basically, he's been on so many rollercoasters that have done nothing but break down on him. For what reason should he try this new rollercoaster that just came to exist in the park? I say that he needs to give that rollercoaster a try because I'm certain that this particular rollercoaster is different. It's uniqueness is what caught his eye in the first place. It will do nothing but support him even after he leaves the park and goes away to San Diego. He's not so sure. I know for a fact that he will have no problem with this rollercoaster and he'll see that if he gives it a chance, it's be a decision he won't regret. So, am I the only one who thinks he should give this rollercoaster a chance? Or do you think he's right?

Happy Birthday!

2010-01-04T21:52:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone! Today is my 15th birthday, as you can see by the title of my blog. LoL I was kind of upset that I couldn't go to the pier or Venice Beach like I really wanted. It was mostly because I've never been, but also because "Big Mac" and my other friends didn't spend it with me like I really wanted them to. It actually turned out quite good. My big sister Jackie came over and made a lovely dinner for me, and my brother-in-law came over with her. Dinner was great! Also, anothere portion of my family came over. The Reszkos!! Vincent, Candy, Jadon, and Leilani all came over to celebrate with me. We ate cake and ice cream and also shrimp and other good stuff! I'm planning with my other friends to have a little celebration at school when school lets back in! So, that's all for me! I'm done for the night. Goodnight everybody!

New Year, New Me!

2009-12-31T15:29:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone! I know it's been a while since I've posted anything. I've just been kind of busy. Well, 2010 is only ONE DAY AWAY!! This is unbelievable. God has blessed us to see the end of another year. Since I know that I haven't posted in a long time I'll give you a little update on me and my life. When I babysitted my little Angels Jadon and Leilani a few weeks ago, Jadon just fell in love with my best friend Josh. Leilani fell in love with the piano at my school. LoL. I love watching them so that Candy and Vincent can have time off. Especially with another little Reszko on the way. I do have a new interest by the code name of "Big Mac". LoL He didn't want me to put his actual name on my blog so I had to think of something that I know he loves. He's soo sweet. He's smart. athletic, and I feel so safe around him. His smile light's up every bit of sadness that could possibly be going on in my body when I see it. His hugs make me feel like I'm in a shield away from all danger in the world. He doesn't really date girls during basketball season because he's scared of getting off track. However, he's starting to see things my way and he's beginning to see that he can trust me. We'll just see how this goes. Big Mac, it'll be the right choice believe me. Well, everyone I'll post later on tonight. In 2010 that is! Happy New Year everyone be safe! You too Big Mac LoL :)

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-25T01:38:00.001-08:00

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope everyone is as happy as I am and knows that Jesus is the real reason forthe season. This is oneof my best Christmases ever! I've never been adopted by another family. I really wanted a camera for Christmas, I didn't get it though. However, I did get other things that I love very much. My step-dad got me a gold chain with my initial in it. I love it so much. Not to mention that one of my presents from one of my adopted families was a metal Twilight jewelry box. It's wonderful because I LOVE TWILIGHT!!!! LoL . I finally got my scrapbooking stuff which is great. Candy and I have been talking about starting me a scrapbooking album for a while. I also got 2 Target gift cards (worth $20 and $75) 2 debit cards (worth $50 and $25). Can u say Forever XXI!! I don't think that I will be using my cards on Forever XXI though. Because my other gift was the best gift ever!!! One of my adopted families got me.........a new cell phone!!!!!! pre-paid or not I love it. It's a true blessing. I also got a purse with lipgloss in it and some fingernail polish which I will never use in my life. I'm trully grateful, but also very tired. Goodnight everyone...well Goodmorning! Merry Christmas and God bless!

PARTY TIME!!!!!!

2009-12-14T18:10:00.001-08:00

Hello everyone! My weekend was just wonderful. I hope everyon else's was the same. Friday night I had a concert at my school for my Chorus/Choir class. The night didn't start so good because I was late. However, I got into the concert anyway and I had alot of fun both singing and listening to the others sing. I saw a few of my friends perform solos and it was quite exciting! Saturday night was my best friend Josh's birthday party. In the beginning he was very upset because not alot of people were there. He was upset until his girlfriend (my good friend) Renee got there. Her and our other friends from school kind of made the party. After a while it was fun, except for the fact that my best friend was mad that I wouldn't dance with him. He was even mad that I didnt dance with "Big Mac" (my new interest in life). He was mainly upset because he thought that I wasn't having a good time when in fact I had a GREAT time. Especially with "Big Mac" keeping me company. We basically talked and laughed the rest of the time I was there. I left at 11:00, but the night's memories are still in my head. The party REEEAAALLLYY got turned up right before I left. It's ok though because I'm thinking about throwing a party with my nephew for the holidays. Well, I have to go because I'm getting hungry. Talk to you later!

Wow!

2009-12-10T14:45:00.001-08:00

I just realizedthat I no longer have to worry about Kenneth! I'm so happy that I dont have to feel awkward being around him like I used to anymore. There is no longer a feeling of depression or sadness sweeping over me whenever I see his face or hear his name. I'm so happy that we can still be friends you know? It's cool talking to him just joking around. There is no longer the tension between us that used to exist. All I say is wow!

Ugh!!!

2009-12-10T14:21:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone! Today is just a normal day. I woke up and went to school. I'm actually here right now. LoL! I'm in my ICS (Intergrated Coordinated Science) class and it is soooo boring! It always seems like the time in this class passes by so slowly. I'm doing a research project with my friends Eva and Delisa. This class can only be described in one word. Ugh!!!! Sometimes, I have to ask myself "How do i sit in this class for almost 2 hours?!?" You know how the only thing that the kids on the Charlie Brown show only hear when they talk to their parent is "Womp Womp Womp"? That's how it is with Mr Baker. He's so boring, after a while all you hear is "Womp Womp Womp" So, I Hope you guys are having a great day and I will pick up later. Right now my teacher is coming and I have to go! Talk to you Later!

Chill

2009-12-05T20:01:00.001-08:00

Hey everyone! I know you guys feel the cold chilly weather outside. LoL I know I do. However, when I come home at 6:00 and I'm freezing my buns off, it helps me think. If Kenneth doesn't want me then oh well. He's missing out, not me. I do really miss him, and I will always be there for him. However, I refuse to be depressed because he wants to listen to other people. So, I'm just chilling right now. Literally! LoL. I'm Drinking hot Cocoa and watching the Grinch. So, as I relax I think about how good my life is and how good it is to chill! I'm cutting it short tonight. Happy Holidays and God Bless!

Next?

2009-12-01T21:07:00.000-08:00

Well, today didn't really go so well at school Kenneth and I didn't get to talk out our problems because he kind of had an attitude. I was somewhat mad at that but at the same time, I can never stay mad at him. I know it seems kind of "thirsty" for me to say that but it's true. I never wanted to break up in the first place so it's kind of weird seeing him everywhere I went. Every time I saw him my stomach twisted up in a knot. I also started stuttering whenever I saw him and then began talking to someone else. It's funny because that also happens when we used to be on the phone, I would start stuttering. I want to work this out, but I'm not sure how else to get his attention. My bestfriend said if I really miss him, then I might have to grab him by his arm and sit him down like a 3 year old. My other friend A'more said that I need to write him a letter telling him how I feel (as long as I'm not desperate) because I write better than I talk. I'm not really sure what to do. I wrote the letter I just haven't given it to him yet because I haven't decided on if I want to. So I need suggestions on what I should do. Should I give him the letter or go another way about it? Who's suggestion is next?

So Many Tears.

2009-11-30T20:08:00.000-08:00

Today I don't feel like editing anything I post. I'm not really in the mood for anything. My boyfriend broke up with me today because he is hearing so many things from people that I don't even know. I know people keep telling me that I should've let him go a long time ago, but in the end it's my decision and I have to live with it. I was really feeling this guy. So, today I talked to one of the main sources that was feeding him the nonsense. We solved that part of the problem, and he apologized for telling Kenneth things that weren't true because he had no solid proof. Hopefully we can work through the hard part getting him to trust me despite what people say. I really wanna be with this guy. I just want the tears to stop. Yes, I did cry when he broke up with me. I've never cried over a boy, not that I can remember. Aaron doesn't really count because I was worried about him and haven't seen him in a long time and I miss him. However, I cried today and my best friends were there with their shoulders to cry on. I love those guys especially Josh because we've kind of "been through it" together. So, hopefully we can work through this and get back together. There are so many tears, and I know that if it doesn't work my best friend will be there to help me through it all. I LOVE YOU JOSH!!!!!!!

Trust.

2009-11-26T00:08:00.000-08:00

My boyfriend Kenneth has been going through trials and tribulations for what you can kind of say his whole life. About 4 years ago his mom and dad somewhat gave up on him and he felt like no one cared for him. It created hate in his heart, and soon after that he kind of started going down the wrong path. So now, it's 4 years later and he kind of still has a little hate in his heart. So, I'm slowly but surely trying to soften that hate up until it is completely gone and it turns into love. However, today we had a little situation with people spreading rumors about us both. However, I decided to listen to him and trust him. But because he still has the hate in his heart from 4 years ago he's not sure if he can trust me. I really like this guy but I want him to trust me. I'm not going to hurt him but he doesn't know that I guess. I'm not going to hurt him like his other people did in the past by giving up on him and not believing in him. I'll always be there for him but I'm not sure how to get him to REALLY understand that. Sometimes, it's like talking to a brick wall. So, we'll see how this situation will go and I'll keep you all posted. Have a Blessed night and make sure you say your Prayers everyone LoL! Goodnight!

New Day!

2009-11-24T09:11:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone! Well, it's another day at school! I'm in class righ now and I just got through taking a test. I really hope I passed. It wasn't really hard but it was kind of challenging. Sorry I haven't been logged on in a while. I've been a little busy trying to make sure I pass all my classes. As for my relationship status, I'm currently dating someone. I just haven't told my mom yet because they kind of got off to a bad start. He's really nice and respectful to women, adults and himself. His name is Kenneth, he has my P.E class. Well, I gotta go! TTYL

Confused

2009-11-15T14:46:00.000-08:00

Well, me and my boyfriend broke up. :-( I found out some very disturbing news about him that really messed up my head. He's really 19 years old which is kind of the biggest problem. However, I also found out that he has 3 other girlfriends and one of them is pregnant. All of them are my age (14)! I'm so mad at him that I told my sister, but my sister wants to beat him up because he goes to her school! The only thing is, no matter how mad I get I can't forget about him. His face won't leave my head and out memories won't leave. I'm almost at the point where I want to cry but can't bring myself to do it. I just don't understand how I can be so angry at him but I can't stop thinking about him. It's just really confusing. So I'm having a difficult time but I'm moving slowly but surely forward in my life. I'm still a little confused but I can't do anything about it.

Drama!

2009-11-09T08:09:00.000-08:00

I am the type of person who absolutely hates drama! Female drama especially because they always wanna fight over one thing: A BOY! I have a boyfriend that I am perfectly happy with, this other boy is trying to talk to me when he has a girlfriend. So the girl doesn't me and him to be friends and she even called me a word that I really despise. I'm going to let God take care of this one because they both need prayer. She needs her eyes opened because I'm trying ot let her know what her boyfriend is doing while she is all up in the clouds. I don't fight over a boy but I fight over respect. She needs Jesus in her life badly! I'm going to end this drama in a way that I didn't want to if she keeps calling me that word, because I'm trying to help her so she won't be all heart broken and stuff when she finds out. Help them Jesus! I don't like drama and I'm not strong enough to deal with all this by myself. I'm going to end up doing something I really regret! I really don't like drama!

I Guess

2009-10-27T23:03:00.000-07:00

Today wasn't really my best day. I feel really bad today because my stomach feels like it is about to explode. I know it will be alright though. I'm happy though because I passed my test in my ICS (Intergrated Coordinated Science) class. This means that my grade will hopefully begin to go up if he doesn't start to grade differently just because we're on a different unit. My best news of the day is that Ihave the best boyfriend that anyone could possibly want. I told him that my stomach was hurting today and he asked me if I was ok. He also made me laugh and forget that I was even in pain. Many people think that's only a small thing but the small things really count, especially to me. I enjoy every moment that I spend talking to him. What I enjoy even more is every moment that I spend with him. So, you can imagine how happy I am to know that he is hopefully coming to see me Saturday if he doesn't have anything to do. I guess I really don't know how I feel. With all that said, I will be writing a new poem soon, so be on the look out for it. Goodnight and God bless! :-)

Wonderful Day!

2009-10-24T20:01:00.000-07:00

Today was one of the best days of my life. We had my little neice and nephew's birthday party today and it went better than I would've imagined. Everything was kind of last minute but it still went ok. We ate, laughed and had lots of fun. Not to mention that my boyfriend came over and my mom really likes him. It was kind of hard to tell my mom that we went out but I still got it through. He's a really special person in my life and I'm glad she can respect that. She saw that I relly liked him and she didn't complain or try to argue with me like she normally does. I'm glad I have him in my life because he's a very willing and patient person. He's nice to my parents and he really likes them. He's even willing to come out here to West LA just to come see me because I'm not allowed to go out on dates until I'm 15 which is only a few months away. Well, Goodnight to all and God bless!

My Best Friend!

2009-10-20T18:00:00.000-07:00

Josh is the most wonderful person anybody could know! I mean that too! We have ahad our ups and downs where we argue for like 2 minutes and rhen we're friends again. I really liked Josh alot because he was really different from the boys now-a-days. He didn't approach a young lady in any type of way nor did he approach them in a disrespectful way. He is easy to talk to because he can normally relate to what I have to say. The only thing is, that Josh didn't really like me in the way that I liked him. Now, all of my ladies know that a situation like that is really hard for a young girl. However, he was really nice about it and considrate of my feelings. So, even though I am kind of having a hard time getting over him we're still good friends. I mean, how could I possibly let a true blessing like that go?!? He's my true best friend! Not to mention that his mom is extremely pretty! She's not the type of mom that is too nice nor is she the type of mom that is just too strict. The way my best friend describes her, she's the type of mom that is easy to talk to but you can't pull one over on. Josh really respects her and I do as well. I would love to meet her, but Josh acts like he doesn't want me to LoL. This is dedicated to him. I LOVE YOU JOSH YOU'RE THE BEST BEST FRIEND I COULD POSSIBLY HAVE!!!!

Young Love

2009-10-17T23:34:00.000-07:00

Tonight, I leave you with something to think about. Alot of people hate on young couples. They always have something to say, wether it's because of an age difference or because the parents don't like the boyfriend/girlfriend. The first thing they say about young couples is "they don't know anything about love" Well, like Chris Brown says "We got that young love, young love." I believe in young Love. So this is amessage to everybody that is a hater on the young couples: Stop hatin on the young love! They are not bothering you. Young couples, I got your back I understand. Goodnight everyone, God bless!

Good morning!

2009-10-17T12:29:00.000-07:00

Good morning wonderful word! Today I have no entertainment because my mom and I aren't going to the W.O.W (Women Of Wonder) event anymore do to transportation issues. However, I do plan to go across the street today to get some frehs (HOT!) air. I haven't been in a while because I've been sick. So, today I am going across the street to enjoy God's wonderful creation. God bless you all!

Yaaayyyy Baby Time!

2009-10-14T19:47:00.000-07:00

I'm really happy today because I get to tell you all the great news. My sister in Christ, Candice Reszko is having a baby! This family is like another part of my family. Their two children Jadon and Leilani are my babies although Jadon sometimes acts up when he gets an attitude. Anyways, you can imagine how extatic I was when I found out Candy was having a baby because this means i can babysit and help out through the entire pregnancy. Yay me! I love babies and I love halping those in need. Candy Good luck with your pregnancy and I hope you feel well! :-)

Aaaaaahhh!!

2009-10-13T15:51:00.000-07:00

Today was a good day. I found out that I got an A on my quiz for my music class so I'm really happy about that. Yay! But, even without knowing all that and besides the fact that it rained it was a great day today. I got out of schoo lat 1:35 which was great because I'm a little sick. But that's not what made it a great day either. What made my day was when I was walking home and realized that God answered my prayers. It's not a surprise to me because God always answers everyones prayers. It's just that the Lord knew I wasn't feeling good today, and He knew I wasn't in the mood to deal with any type of drama. Today I hung out with people that always make me laugh and smile. My 4th period class seemed to go by in no time at all. I'm really happy to say that I can go home and relax. Can you say aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! LoL :-)

June 10, 2009

2009-10-10T09:59:00.000-07:00

June 10,2009...that was the day I graduated from Middle School. That was also the day I got separated from my other half, my twin. When Creshae first came to the school everybody thought she ws me , and I her. We were inseperable. We both were outsopken and we both spoke our minds. I just did it more often, and I spoke the first thing that came to my mind. We took care of each other like blood sisters. We were Ying and Yang.
Creshae and Chrissy, it has a ring to it. The days of P.E together and supporting each other are images in front of me. As I look into the mirror moments of arguing together and sometimes with each other come to mind. Silliness combined with laughter along with crazy words was one of our favorite things to do. Even when I think of how people mixed up our names I see her face which i will never see again.
Two families in one, we will never be broken. However it feels like Ying without Yang or black without white. When June 10, 2009 cam I knew nothing would ever be the same again. I gazed around at the blue-and-gold cap and gowns. I thought of how miserable my days soon-to-come would be. This was a proud day for us as well as a day proven to be bittersweet. I would lose a part of me; it would drive away to Perris, CA and leave me forever. This is the day that I lost my twinster. The worst day of my life was June 10, 2009. This was the day that I forever lost Creshae LaBrae Knight.

SISTER

2009-10-02T16:52:00.000-07:00

Man I miss my twin alot! LoL she was like my blood sister. I wrote a vignette about her for my class project. I will put it up later because I'm leaving in a little while. But I love her so freaking much! It's like a part of me will never come back again. So sister, when I put this next blog up it is just for you ok! I LOVE YOU CRESHAE LABRAE KNIGHT!!

I Can't Believe This!

2009-09-28T21:43:00.000-07:00

Today was a very horrible day! My stomach iis in alot of pain to begin with! I'm sure all of my ladies know about that pain! But also, Aaron really hurt me by doing something really stupid. I couldn't believe & I still don't. But, I'm going to sleep so Goodnight to all && God Bless

Inner Peace

2009-09-28T11:11:00.000-07:00

Good Morning to everyone! It's a beautiful Monday morning and I don't have school. Life can't get any better haha! I'm just kidding. But right about now I'm thinking of some more things to write my poems about. I'm not really feeling good physically today but I still have the desire to write. I'm thining of what I want to do this weekend because I'm a teenager and I'm always in the house! That's not normal! My thoughts are all over the place right now...so I'm about to go listen to music and come to an inner peace.....

Never Give Up...

2009-09-27T14:11:00.001-07:00

Well, today I'm just feeling great! I just found out that Aaron got an A on his big test for his G.E.D and he's doing really good in school. Now I didn't tell my mom about this because she doesn't like him for whatever reason (which means Candice and Vincent when you read this it should click in your head that she doesn't know everything you guys know please don't get me killed). I don't have school tomorrow either so I have an extra day of rest. I'm just so happy for Aaron because I believe in him so much. He can do incredible things and I know that he is believing in himself as well. He now knows the great possibilities lying ahead of him....if he never gives up.....

The Joy of Pain

2009-09-23T18:01:00.000-07:00

So today was just another day at University High School. But, I had my P.E class to day and I had to run a mile!! Oh my goodness! It felt like I ran 4 miles. However,it was after I ran that mile,and listened to my 26 second improved score,that I talked to my teacher Mr. Duke. I was telling him about the field trip that I'm going on this Friday and he said "Wow! That sounds fun!" After that I began telling him about the college I wanted to go to and...for the first time the idea of me being a massage therapist wasn't laughed at. I told him that I want to own a chain of businesses across the country and each of them will have a poetry bar inside of them. When he told me that it was a great idea, I felt good about myself. Alot of people think that I would become a doctor and when they hear my idea, they startto sing a whoooole different tune!
As I was walking home today and I thought of everything God has blessed me with. I also, thought of the wonderful people that I have in my life. Even that my mother doesn't aprove of them. I really went through it when Aaron left, but now that I think about it, it really helped me realize that I appreciate all that he does for me. I'll talk about Aaron later. Things and people like him are the joy...the joy of pain!

Every Morning Every Night

2009-09-23T17:47:00.000-07:00

Every Morning,Every Night

Every morning I feel worried,like today in the blink of an eye,
My life is gone in a hurry

Every morning I feel confused,nobody knows if they'll live
to see the next day or two

Every night I might write,about everything I saw today or how clearly I'm beginnig to see the light

Not the light of the sun but the light of life

Every night I might think,of how I'm beginning to see that in the end all you have is your own family

Every morning I feel trapped, like I'll never be let out of this cage
I'm not an animal so let me out of this place!

Every morning I feel happy, that He let me live to see another day

Every night I might listen,to the gunshots & all the shooting

Every night I dream of all the possibilities of life that can be brought upon me...
and the gift that I have..how can I share it?

Who Am I?

2009-09-22T20:14:00.000-07:00

Who Am I
I look in the mirror & what do I see?

This image is so cleat, but is it really me?

Who am I?

My mind says that I'm beautiful other people say differently

I'm nervous..I don't know what my heart says because it beats too loudly.

Who am I?

I'm a girl becoming a woman not caring what people say

walking down the hall with a smileon my face

Who Am I?

I am Chrissy Jasmine Maxine Madison

I Am

2009-09-22T16:27:00.000-07:00

I Am...

I am born in a world of violence and destruction..

I wonder if what i see is real..

I hear the bars of jail cells and the cries of hungry children..

I see my classmates not caring about their future..

I Am Christian Madison

I pretend that I'm sitting in where Barack Obama is..

I feel like I don't know who's real or not..

I touch my face in disbelief..

I worry about what tomorrow will bring..

I cry seeing the sad news..

I hope my truth will be told

I am Christian Madison